Police K-9 Program Announces Breed Switch

The following is a sneak peek into a chapter intro in my book, "Create a New Life - without going into witness protection."

In an announcement that rocked the canine world, the Association of Real Ferocity (ARF) recently announced a switch up in breeds for police dogs.  In a move some consider “barking mad,” ARF is retiring their German Shepard breeding program in exchange for Chihuahuas.

Founder and CEO of ARF, Robert “Bobby” Tick states, “I realize this is a bold move but our trainers are confident that the Chihuahuas will be a much more effective deterrent at stopping criminals in their path.” 

The idea, Tick says, came to him while he was in Costco.  “This woman had a Chihuahua in her purse that was a pure terror.  I observed the customers’ behavior and realized we needed to harness that power.”

When Tick presented the idea to ARF’s head trainer, Mary Barker, she was initially skeptical.  “Then I realized,” Barker said, “We really could step up the level of security for our men and women in blue.”  German Shepherds, who have long been riding the reputation as a loyal, protective breed since Rin-Tin-Tin have, well, frankly, have gotten lazy, Barker states.

Barker’s skepticism turned to conviction in initial trials.  “Lucy, a three-pound Teacup Chihuahua, had three seasoned Shepherds in a “down, stay” position from the moment she trotted onto the field.” Imagine the criminal compliance, she says.

“We considered other ‘ankle biter’ breeds consider such as Pomeranians but found the Chihuahua required minimal training to maximize mental terror and hence compliance. Their petite size is also a benefit.  “We’ve taken a bite out of kibble costs,” Barker says, adding with a laugh that the lawn crew appreciates the tootsie roll clean up.   The benefits don’t stop there though.

Tick states, “We are doing beta testing on a dog holster so an officer can carry this new weapon on their tool belt.” The “ChiHol” as it is called, is not only convenient, it let’s the public know there’s a new dog in town.  Tick adds, “When a cop comes into a donut shop with one of these bad bitches on his hip, the reaction is measurable.” 

Animal activists have raised concerns over the switch up.  “They are capitalizing on a case of mistaken identity,” the said in an official statement.  “Chi’s think they are big dogs and we all know that is not true.”

Tick offered no reply to their criticism.