I try to pee as much as I can before departure - as do my fellow tribe members. I’m feeling a little jubilant as my white flour preparation didn’t hinder my morning oblations but my post coffee bladder is another matter. The campus security office is our departure place and there is one public bathroom. While waiting for my turn, I can hear the fellow in the bathroom. It sounds like he is furiously pawing at the toilet paper roll. Not once but like 4 times. I know what you’re doing, I think to myself. Then the toilet flushes. More toilet paper pawing. Flush, flush. SERIOUSLY?! What the hell are you doing in there?!
When he emerges, I scrutinize his pockets for any telltale sign but see none. I cautiously enter the bathroom, holding my breath. What a great place for a crime scene, I muse.
Everyone, except for the “I don’t like people” guy, has used the facilities. I want to sneak a peak on the TP supply but that would have been obvious - especially since I already went in there twice.
“We’re going back in time,time, time tiiiiime” Cody says echoe-y. I know it’s a reference to some old TV show but the name escapes me. Laughter ripples through the van. We’ve loaded our gear into the back of a white 10 passenger van. My cheeks feel a little hot. In addition to what’s in my pocket, my contraband is in a Ziplock bag and stuffed deep into a hidey hole in my pack. I feel like a rehabber going to a meeting. Prescott, the capital of drug and alcohol rehab facilities, has lots of white vans. Then the damn shoulder belt tightens every time I move and I wonder if this is a harbinger of difficult things to come.
Mum’s the word on where we’re going still. We drive for 30 minutes or so and then turn off on a dirt road where we drive for probably 10 more miles. There are no other vehicles on the road.
We arrive at our destination and disgorge our gear from the back.
Cody pulls out a few jerry cans. “Everyone drink a quart of water. Two if you can handle it.” But you don’t understand, Cody, I WANT to be dehydrated. This man has clearly never housed a menopausal bladder, that in earlier times, bore children.
The fun was just beginning…